If you’re wandering out into the crossfire in your own search for marriage, are you awake to the pitfalls?
For all its many weaknesses and perils, old-fashioned courtship did prevent the pursuit of marriage from becoming a playground for digital likes, swipes, and winks.
Who will deliver us from the gamification of our hearts — from this dating scene of death? We’re no longer condemned by the sins we’ve committed in relationships in the past — by the ways we have wittingly or unwittingly followed the course of this world (Ephesians 2:2) — and we’re not captive to the broken and prevailing dating trends of our day.
While the world plays games with sex, romance, and “commitment,” Christ frees us to quit playing and start dating differently — with selflessness and humility, with clarity and intentionality, with patience and sobriety, even if we choose to meet someone online.
Real-world structure and boundaries meant, for the most part, that pursuing a woman required intentionality, clear communication, patience, and risk.
It felt more like buying your first home than renting a movie on i Tunes.
The websites and apps have manifestly facilitated random sex and superficial flirtation, but they seem to have done far less to help us find love.
Far from solving our problems, they have often multiplied and complicated them, leaving many feeling like we’re driving blindfolded — until the inevitable crash into greater heartache and deeper loneliness. Because of him, in the midst of all of the confusion and heartache, we have an anchor and a refuge.
The flick of a thumb, so seemingly harmless, threatens to cheapen the image of God.
What does God feel when we flippantly swipe a real man or woman, someone he himself wove together, into the trash bin of our phones?
As we celebrate another Valentine’s Day, I wonder if you will be another civilian casualty. By 2040, 70% of people are expected to meet through dating apps.” Why does that cause any concern? Dating websites and apps have ridden in on digital horseback, bearing a dozen roses and declaring their fidelity, but their first love is in your pocket — and they’re jealous lovers.
If the current trends continue, what will the pursuit of marriage be like in twenty years? Well, because despite all the new and innovative ways to find love, “People are lonelier than ever. They play the sympathetic matchmaker up front, but they’re more like the Gamemaker in — pulling whatever levers necessary, at whatever cost to you, to get what they really want.
They don’t go to sleep at night dreaming about how to get you married.